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  • Writer's pictureBeth Hobday

Connectedness

We are all connected whether you like it or not. We all are cut from the same cloth. We are all humans of the earth, an entire species all of our own. We all have similar bodies and similar body parts. The world we live in and any separation we draw between ourselves is strictly an illusion.


It is important to understand our differences because we all have a unique gift to share with the world. Children are wonderful examples of this. Between the ages of 5 and 11, we are hyper-focused on the differences between each other. Up until that point, we are finding every reason why we’re the same. Babies come into this world amazed and awe-struck over everything. Their entire job is to make sure they fit in and are loved. As the brain expands and grows, it soaks in as much information as it can, categorizing everything. After we get comfortable enough with our place in the world (think of demanding toddlers), we start comparing others to ourselves. If you’ve ever heard a child yell out something in public along the lines of “He’s fat!” or “She’s old!” or “He has no legs!”, it may sound inappropriate to us, but they are actively connecting neurons in their brain. It’s a cycle every single one of us goes through. First, we do everything we can to fit in (a straight-up survival technique). Then we feel comfortable enough to state our differences (sometimes out loud and in public). Next, we go back into a self-analysis period where we’d do anything to fit in (welcome teen years and beyond). Finally, we have a slow period where we begin to get comfortable enough with our uniqueness. Think of that elder person who has no qualms about sharing their opinion, an opinion that happens to be drastically different from everyone else in the room. Yes, you know this older person I speak of. Perhaps it’s someone in your family, whom I’m sure makes holiday meals extra special.


We are basically separate and connected, all at the same time. We live in a world of duality. For someone that was always about all the grey in the world and hated when people looked at things only in black and white, it was hard for me to wrap my head around this duality concept. To be honest, I’m still working through it.


The way I see it is we’re like two sides of a coin. The heads, what we all can see, and what we show to each other are all the same. That’s our human aspect. We are all equals and therefore will only do ourselves harm if we view ourselves as different (poor, lazy, greedy, stupid, etc). The tails side of the coin, however, is the unique qualities, talents, and life experiences we each bring to the table. You don’t get to see our special qualities unless you turn us over and dig deep to find out, or unless we show you. But the heads side of the coin is us as a united species, all living and breathing in this world together and the tails side of the coin is all of our unique qualities that are going to make living in this world a better place.


Some people will only show their tails to those closest to them and some will show their tails to the world. The more people who proudly show off their tails (no this isn’t some Furby/fur-babies shoutout, although it could be) the more connected we will all feel, surprisingly. We are all connected whether you like it or not. We all are cut from the same cloth. We are all humans of the earth, an entire species all of our own. We all have similar bodies and similar body parts. The world we live in and any separation we draw between ourselves is strictly an illusion.


It is important to understand our differences because we all have a unique gift to share with the world. Children are wonderful examples of this. Between the ages of 5 and 11, we are hyper-focused on the differences between each other. Up until that point, we are finding every reason why we’re the same. Babies come into this world amazed and awe-struck over everything. Their entire job is to make sure they fit in and are loved. As the brain expands and grows, it soaks in as much information as it can, categorizing everything. After we get comfortable enough with our place in the world (think of demanding toddlers), we start comparing others to ourselves. If you’ve ever heard a child yell out something in public along the lines of “He’s fat!” or “She’s old!” or “He has no legs!”, it may sound inappropriate to us, but they are actively connecting neurons in their brain. It’s a cycle every single one of us goes through. First, we do everything we can to fit in (a straight-up survival technique). Then we feel comfortable enough to state our differences (sometimes out loud and in public). Next, we go back into a self-analysis period where we’d do anything to fit in (welcome teen years and beyond). Finally, we have a slow period where we begin to get comfortable enough with our uniqueness. Think of that elder person who has no qualms about sharing their opinion, an opinion that happens to be drastically different from everyone else in the room. Yes, you know this older person I speak of. Perhaps it’s someone in your family, whom I’m sure makes holiday meals extra special.


We are basically separate and connected, all at the same time. We live in a world of duality. For someone that was always about all the grey in the world and hated when people looked at things only in black and white, it was hard for me to wrap my head around this duality concept. To be honest, I’m still working through it.


The way I see it is we’re like two sides of a coin. The heads, what we all can see, and what we show to each other are all the same. That’s our human aspect. We are all equals and therefore will only do ourselves harm if we view ourselves as different (poor, lazy, greedy, stupid, etc). The tails side of the coin, however, is the unique qualities, talents, and life experiences we each bring to the table. You don’t get to see our special qualities unless you turn us over and dig deep to find out, or unless we show you. But the heads side of the coin is us as a united species, all living and breathing in this world together and the tails side of the coin is all of our unique qualities that are going to make living in this world a better place.


Some people will only show their tails to those closest to them and some will show their tails to the world. The more people who proudly show off their tails (no this isn’t some Furby/fur-babies shoutout, although it could be) the more connected we will all feel, surprisingly. I find it incredibly wild, that the more we share our differences with each other, the more connected we feel. It’s a really neat phenomenon.


The world is a funny place and I like it that way. I hope you do, too. If it feels weird and doesn’t make sense, all the more reason to investigate and become the scientist/student and learn all you can about it. We are all in this universe together, so we might as well get to know each other.




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